Why do people fear being ordinary?
The fear of being average is often driven by the need to feel important or recognized. We want to impact the world or leave a legacy simply because it makes us feel like our life means something.
It all starts in our childhoods, when we're taught that being average isn't enough. That we need to excel to be worth something. Growing up trying to live up to impossible standards makes us internalize the toxic belief that what we have — and who we are — isn't enough.
Koinophobia: The Fear that You've Lived an Ordinary Life.
This anxiety can stem from the worry that living an ordinary life means you're missing out on something. This could imply that an above-average life is like riding a rollercoaster, and simple life is like riding the Ferris Wheel. Yet being average is normal. It's healthy to be average weight for your age and height.
Further, “special” in the mind of a child meant loved, chosen, valued, while “not special” meant rejected, or not worthy of love. Therefore, it's important to recognize that narcissism isn't about self-love (as the Greek myth might suggest), but instead is about the fear of not being seen as special.
Brown asked Ferriss. “Narcissism is not about self love at all. It's about grandiosity driven by high performance and self-hatred. I define narcissism as the shame-based fear of being ordinary.”
Remember, there's nothing wrong with being 'ordinary'
The need to be extraordinary is, ironically, a common one. And it's very relatable too. Because it comes from a deeply vulnerable part of yourself — the part who worries that you're somehow inadequate or dreads being left out of the crowd.
It has been reported as a rare culture-related psychiatric syndrome in Chinese populations. An extensive survey of the literature yielded only six case reports.
Allodoxaphobia, a fear of opinions
While it's a fairly unusual and rare disorder, allodoxaphobia is categorized as a social phobia and is usually tied to an experience someone had at a young age.
Most people are simply ordinary, and while that's fine, many have to deal with dissatisfaction due to not feeling extraordinary. Embracing ordinary starts by understanding that being extraordinary is not as common as it seems, and you're likely great as you are.
What's wrong with being average?
Mediocre means “average.” In any population, by definition, exactly half of that population is above average, and the other half is below average. When you look at it that way, there's nothing wrong with being mediocre at many or most things in your life. The trick is to find the one or two things that you excel at.
Average people don't understand risk.
Average minds only see risk as a negative. They try to minimize all types of risks. They forget to understand that not all risks are created equally.
Humans are often scared of a variety of things, but some common fears include death, public speaking, spiders, snakes, heights, and the unknown. Fear is a natural response to perceived threats, and it can vary widely from person to person.
- Their Self-Esteem or Image Has Been Harmed. ...
- They Do Not Get Their Way. ...
- They Are Criticized. ...
- They Are No Longer the Center of Attention. ...
- They Are Exposed for Their Behaviors. ...
- They Are Asked to Be Accountable for Their Actions. ...
- They Face a Setback, Disappointment, or Conflict.
Rejection, humiliation, and even the tiniest of defeats can shake them to their core. This leaves narcissists wholly focused on their image. They believe that how they are viewed by others, and how they view themselves, will shield them against realities of life that few of us like but most of us come to accept.
Narcissists have an extreme sensitivity to criticism and humiliation—this is their Achilles' heel. To instill fear in a narcissist, attack their fragile self-worth by pointing out their flaws, highlighting hypocrisies, and making them feel inadequate.
The cause is likely complex. Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to: Environment — parent-child relationships with either too much adoration or too much criticism that don't match the child's actual experiences and achievements. Genetics — inherited characteristics, such as certain personality traits.
“Narcissists see other people as pawns to get to where they want to go. They may never admit it, but they are the most important person in the room and everyone else is just an object to manipulate or a place to dump their problems. So your boundaries mean nothing to them,” says Ho.
No, there is no gene for NPD, and people are not born with it. Like other mental health conditions, environment is a major factor. Children who are encouraged to believe they are extraordinary and always deserve the best -- sometimes at the expense of others -- could later develop NPD.
If we mention normal people, it probably means 'people who think and behave in the same way as most other people'. But the phrase ordinary people may carry a nuance in meaning about wealth and social status, meaning 'people who are not particularly rich'.
Why being ordinary is good?
"Ordinariness does not stand in opposition to having dreams or having a vision for your life," says Stauffer. Instead, "considering the value in our average, good-enough-as-is selves helps us reorient ourselves to the actual needs and desires we have."
The Ordinary is a brand from DECIEM. We are an umbrella of brands focused on advanced functional beauty. Our team is specialized in materials chemistry and biochemistry, and we have brought pioneering innovation in skincare through NIOD. In the category of functional beauty, integrity is rare.
1. Arachibutyrophobia (Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth) Arachibutyrophobia is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. While the phenomenon has happened to everyone at one point or another, people with arachibutyrophobia are extremely afraid of it.
Arachibutyrophobia is a rare phobia that involves a fear of getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth. This fear may have a number of causes, including a more general fear of choking or traumatic experiences involving a peanut allergy.
Bibliophobia is an intense fear of books or reading. It's a type of anxiety disorder. Books are almost everywhere, and they're difficult to avoid.
